Flower

Hey.

I know I should try to write here more often, but the truth is that I can't find time to do it. And when I finaly find some, i'm just to lazy to do it.

I'm almost done with college, so I've started to look at Univerity programs and sutff... but I want none of it. And so, here I am, not knowing what to do with my life again. I'm sick of being where I am. I sometime feel like it's draining all of my energy. I really wish I could go far far away. the worst part of it all, is that I won't be leaving much behind -.- Maybe my parents and sisters, one or two friends...but that's about it.

Don't get me wrong though, I love my country and the town I live in. But I've seen the same people all my life, the same buildings, the same events. Every year is the same, every stupid day is the same! Somehow, I can't breath anymore.
You know, this feeling you get when you get up in the morning and the only thing you want it to go back to sleep and never wake up? This has become my everyday life. I don't want to keep going when it's not leading me anywhere. It's sad. I though moving out to a new house, a new place, would help. But it's not nearly enough. I need a bigger change.

It would be fun if I could do something like Takayoshi did and spend a whole year in different country. Unfortunalty there are very few programs like this here.

Anyway. I'll be going. I got an exam to study for.

"The tears one person leaves behind will ultimately wither away...
and the cruel seasons will keep on changing

Even if I cling to my memories
I cant return to that time
The endless sadness will keep piling up
The vast land has no boundaries, and everything is beautiful
The season when you closed your eyes passes on
The sadness will not disappear now but
The world we yearned for will begin"